singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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