Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
