YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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