id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
