No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
