I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
