then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
jump out the window naked night went bad
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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