alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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