I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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