its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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