Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
