my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
