Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
