winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
