butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
