Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
