I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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