either way he was missing a nipple.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He passed out mid-signature
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
ok first of all what the fuck
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
