And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize