Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
