cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
