there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
