i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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