if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize