is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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