My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
