i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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