Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
