How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
