I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
