so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Acid is not a monday night drug
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
