You smell like a Billy Joel song
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
