there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize