i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize