This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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