glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
