FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
