I wish I could teleport
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
