I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
