He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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