bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
My dick has a subreddit
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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