Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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