It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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