Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
