I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
