I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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