My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
