Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
