He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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