And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she pinky promised me she was 18
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
