just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
