I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
