I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize