I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Everything about him screamed your future.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
