can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
