What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
