Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
