In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
