I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize