i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
