hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
