Me. At least after what I've been through.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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