Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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