Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
