No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
